30 Days of Letting Go

A Bit Off Track!!

By February 7, 2017 Uncategorized

So, Day 11 of my 30 Day Letting Go Challenge is where things left off back in 12/12/2016! Since then, I have nearly completed another 30 day challenge via my Facebook group

https://www.facebook.com/groups/366492380360413/

If you would like to join me here just ask and I will add you to our group. However, if you would like to see the January challenge laid out here in this blog, please let me know and I will upload it here, asap!

So, Beginning January 31st, I will be starting another 30 day challenge that will go through the month of February. Since February has 28 days, we will be wrapping up the second challenge on March 1st.

Anyway, next month I would like to focus on judgment because it’s such a huge part of the letting go experience. Really, it is the key to finding joy in an, often times, joyless world!

I would like to continue the same short, sweet, and hopefully, humorous, theme I’ve striven for so far, but just hone in on specific judgmental attitudes that many of us struggle with. Then, I would like to give a very specific challenge for each day to help us all practice letting go of unnecessary judgments.

Also, I would like to add a video on Mondays and Wednesdays that I will publish on YouTube that will go more in depth and give a bit more explanation to these daily challenges.

Please, chime in and let me know your thoughts!

P.S. I want to give a big thank you to Hallie Barnes for inspiring much of the format for next month! Thank you, my love, for all your sweet words and encouragement!

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30 Days of Letting Go – Day 11

By February 7, 2017 Uncategorized

Let go of being anyone but you!

Welcome to day 11 of letting go! Today I want to remind you of Cyndi Lauper’s song, True Colors. Or I can introduce you to the song if it’s before your time. 


I love the lyrics in this song but WOW the video is Soooo incredibaly corny! However, it demonstrates my point beautifully. If you are wonderfully weird, like me and Cyndi, be wonderfully weird! Lord knows, the world has enough cookie cutter, stuffy, trend abiding, ‘normal people’.


However, if you’re not particularly weird, don’t try to be weird, either, cause that would just be….well….weird! 🙂


I think you get my drift. Be you! You are amazing and no one else can be you better than you can!


I love you guys! Have a beautiful day!

 

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30 Days of Letting Go Challenge – Day 10

By November 16, 2016 Uncategorized

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30 Days of Letting Go Challenge – Day 10

Let go of being responsible for other people’s feelings

I don’t know about you but it’s still hard for me, after all my 41 years of life, to do something I know is right if I think it’s going to hurt someone’s feelings. You know what I’m talking about, right? The lady in the PTA looks longingly at you wanting you to head up the bake sale the exact same week as your kids have been out with the flu and the boss wants double the work in half the time.

You just can’t say no, though. It will crush her! But guess what? It will crush both of you if you say yes! If you agree to do something you know very well you do not have time for, several bad things will happen:

  1. You will do a very poor job of running said bake sale.
  2. You will resent the poor woman who talked you into it.
  3. She will not like you very much because of 1 and 2.
  4. You may crack under the pressure and leave her hanging at the last minute.

Those are just a few of the things that often come from such situations. Now consider what would happen if you politely turned her down.

  1. She’ll be disappointed but I guarantee you, she’ll get over it. And if you offer to help her find someone else she will love you!
  2. She will likely respect you in the end for knowing your limits and being honest with her.
  3. You will respect yourself for standing up for your needs and your family and boss will be better off, as well!

You get the idea! Take care of yourself today! Lend a helping hand where you can but do not take on other people’s problems. Those are for them to learn and grow with! 🙂

I love you guys! Thank you for reading! Have a beautiful and joy filled day!

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30 Days of Letting Go – Day 9

By November 15, 2016 Uncategorized

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30 Day of Letting Go Challenge – Day 9

Let go of distractions

This is another BIGGIE for me! Especially now with only 7 days until my wedding! Holy Lord Almighty, am I ever distracted! I included this picture of my little squirrel friend because he reminds me of the movie UP where the man and boy cross paths with a dog whose high tech collar allows him to speak. At one point the dog is talking to the pair and then suddenly stops and says, “Squirrel”! That sums me up pretty well. I even use that line frequently to explain my flighty behavior.

Anyway, it seems the more I have to do the more easily I become distracted. Today, I am battling this tendency of mine by keeping a notebook near by and writing down whatever it is that is distracting me from moving forward. For instance, I have a long list of ‘to do’s’ and I keep thinking of more things I need to add to the list. When I’m online it is especially hard for me to stay on task. So when I become distracted I have been jotting down the distraction so I can look at it later once I have taken care of my task at hand.

This tip may or may not work for you. However, today, whenever you feel the pull of distraction just remind yourself of the task you are trying to complete now and do your best to be kind to yourself by not trying to multitask everything. Mindfully, do one thing at a time and then give yourself credit for every ‘to do’ you are able to check off! Don’t focus on what is left ‘to do’; Just focus the next ‘to do’.

By the way, remembering to take your vitamins and eat are part of your ‘to do’ list whether you include them or not. If you don’t take your care seriously then soon you won’t be much good to anyone!

I love you guys! Thank you for reading! Have a beautiful NOW and enjoy all your moments today!

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30 Days of Letting Go – Day 8

By November 14, 2016 Uncategorized

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Day 8 of Letting Go

Let go of perceiving your mistakes as failures

Today, I want you to focus on how you perceive the mistakes you make. I have heard it said that all mistakes are progress because they bring you closer to perfection. Thomas Edison said, “I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.” I found another quote on mistakes that I really think should be spread far and wide because it really hit home for me. The author of this quote is unknown:

In every mistake, there is a message. Some people miss the message because they’re too busy berating themselves for the mistake.

I think that nails it for me! I forget the reason I made the mistake in the first place, as well. Usually, we make mistakes when we are trying to do the right thing or be good to ourselves or someone else. I rarely find myself making mistakes purely out of selfish intent. For instance, I rolled through a stop sign once (we’re gonna go with once :-P) and was given a ticket but the reason I made that mistake was because I was in a hurry trying to do all the ‘good’ things ‘good moms’ do.

It is not the mistake that we should focus on but the lesson the mistake is trying to teach us. In my case, I had to learn that I would be more effective at my job as mom, if I slowed down and took time to relax even if it meant I wouldn’t get everything done that I was “supposed to do”. Sometimes we make mistakes because we’re trying to live up to impossible standards.

Today, give yourself a break. When you make mistakes, check yourself and then move on happy that you’re making progress!

I love you, guys! Thank you for reading!

P.S. If you liked this and have a minute, consider sharing it with someone else. Also, as always, I love your comments so please let me know what you think! 🙂

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30 Days of Letting Go – Day 7 – WhooHoo, 1 week down!

By November 11, 2016 Uncategorized

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30 Days of Letting Go – Day 7

It’s time to let go of your stress

This will be a quick post because my to do list just doubled and half of it is marked Urgent! You can relate I’m sure. So, I thought it would be extremely appropriate to write today’s post on letting go of stress since today could be, potentially, very stressful for me!

What should I do, though? I can’t just hide from all my responsibilities. Here’s my plan:

  1. Every time I begin to feel rushed or overwhelmed I will stop and remind myself all I have is now and I shouldn’t waste all I have on being rushed.
  2. I will notice what’s going on and breathe deeply as I find things in my moment that are peaceful and comforting.
  3. I will acknowledge the obstacles I have already overcome and pat myself on the back for every step forward I take today!
  4. I will thank Heaven for my Life and love it in spite of my stress!

I love you! Have a gorgeous Joy filled day!

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Day 6 of the Letting Go Challenge

By November 10, 2016 Uncategorized

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Day 6 of Letting Go Challenge

Letting go of caring what others will think

It’s day 6 of our letting go challenge and I want you to let go of caring so much what others think of you. I don’t mean that I want you to cut in front of people in the Starbucks line or be rude to your waiter. I’m talking about choosing to be what you ‘think’ other people want you to be rather than enjoying your life and being exactly who you are! We each have our own unique personality and we should hold onto our uniqueness no matter what others may think.

The above picture is of Ben, my now 19 year old son, and his then baby sister Sarah on her first birthday! We like the tradition of giving the baby their very own cake to destroy on their first birthday and in this picture you can see that my generous baby girl is sharing with her big brother! Although, she does look a bit uncertain! But, I can assure you, she was more than happy to let Ben enjoy the delicious chocolaty mess with her! Neither of these kiddos gave a single millisecond to wondering if others would think poorly of them for just ripping into this beautiful cake. Nope, they were given the go ahead and they just jumped right in!

Now, I’m not trying to convert you to the no more utensils club and I really think the clean up isn’t worth the reward of eating your food like my kids did. I just want to give you the go ahead to do whatever it is that you want to do without hesitating because you’re afraid others will think you’re strange. For instance, if you like to bargain hunt at thrift stores and a friend compliments a blouse you found on one of your trips, don’t lie or act embarrassed to tell her where you got it because you think your friend would look down on you; not that your friends would judge you! I really hope they would not! But, I use this as an example to get you thinking. Has there been times this week where you did or did not do something simply because you thought it would affect the way someone else thinks of you? Are you sacrificing your unique personality to be what you think you ‘should’ be? If so, let that kind of thinking GO! It’s time to be the unique, beautiful you regardless of what anyone else thinks! Go get that tattoo you’ve always wanted! You heard me right! If you really want something, express yourself regardless of what anyone else thinks!

Thank you for reading! I’ll be back tomorrow with Day 7! If you come tomorrow you will have completed an entire week of the challenge with me! Yay, Us!!!

I love you, guys! Have a beautiful Day!

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30 Days of Letting Go – Day 5

By November 9, 2016 Uncategorized

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Day 5 of Letting Go!

Letting Go of Disappointment

For today’s letting go challenge we are going to focus on letting go of disappointment. I have been dealing with this one for quite sometime. It seems I can let go much easier when there are circumstances I’m unhappy with. However, when people let me down, I find it very hard to let go of my hurt and confusion.

So, what’s a girl to do? Whenever I am upset with someone else’s actions, I remind myself that I do not walk in their shoes. I cannot know what their perspective is. It is useless to try and mind read to figure out why they did something. I, also, will do more harm than good, if I try and make them see the error of their ways. It can be frustrating to try and explain to someone how we see things when they see the same things from a completely different perspective.

The first thing to do when handling being disappointed in someone is to step back from emotion and allow your logical mind to do the work. Then, do your best to step into the shoes of your loved one and try to see things the way they do. Understand, though, that you can never truly see the world the way anyone else sees it but you can empathize with them by remembering how you felt in similar situations. If you have never experienced anything close to what they are going through, simply acknowledge that fact. Let them know you are doing your best to understand a situation you have no experience with. This will go a long way in helping the relationship to be strong.

With the proper perspective in place, list the facts of the situation. For instance, if the disagreement has to do with where they will stay when they come for a visit, list what needs exist for them and what needs exist for you. You may have a physical space for them to stay but if they are an introvert they may need a separate place to stay away from everyone. For the extrovert this concept can be hard to understand but introverts are not trying to hurt your feelings by needing to stay in a hotel rather than in your home. They simply need time alone to process their experiences.

Whatever the conflict, keep calm and be patient with each other. You cannot force someone to handle any situation your way. Instead, do your best to stay in your logical mind and then wait for the other person to come to a logical place, as well. Make peace with the idea that the other person may never be able to see things your way. Their journey is for them to figure out. It is not for you. You can only be responsible for your life. This is true whether the loved one is a friend, parent, sibling, lover, or even and especially if it is your child.

So, today, if you find yourself upset with a friend or even a stranger, try to let go of wishing they would act differently. Instead, acknowledge that their path is for them and your path is for you!

Thank you for reading! See you tomorrow with Day 6 of our letting go challenge!

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30 Days of Letting Go – Day 4

By November 8, 2016 Uncategorized
The Ever Mindful Cat

The Ever Mindful Cat

Welcome to Day 4 of the Letting Go Challenge! You rock! Thank you for sticking with me so far! How are you doing? Are these challenges helpful? Please, comment and let me know what you think. I love your comments!!!

Day 4 Challenge

Your mission for today, should you choose to accept it, is to let go of needing things to go smoothly in order for you to have a good day. Have a good day today in spite of all the hiccups! Here’s a post I wrote a while back on my http://www.mindfuljoysearch.com blog that I think will help you to do just that!

Do this one thing to be mindful Even when it feels impossible!

This is Bootsie. He is my 14 yo daughter’s cat and he’s a sweet boy. Whether things are going well or not, Bootsie remains mindful. He sits in the window and enjoys the sun. He feel the plastic of the vertical blinds and loves the feel of chewing these blinds with his sharp little teeth. It’s easy for him to be mindful. He’s a cat. He worries only about “what’s good for the cat” as my dad would say.

He has no worry over the state of the carpet if he happens to throw up on it and he merely avoids the spots his cat sibling and dog sibling may or may not leave behind. It feels pretty darn easy for him; this mindful business.

However, His world is rather small.

My world is Big! I have a hunch yours is too. So with all our worries and the many balls we have to juggle, how can we possibly stay mindful?

Just allow yourself to think about mindfulness all the time.

There’s a game my brother taught my kids. He said there is only one rule to the game. Don’t think about it. If you think about the game, you lose. Silly, right? For weeks, maybe it was months, the kids would randomly smack their foreheads and shout, “Ah NO! I lost!” They were seriously dissapointed

You can think of mindfulness as the game you only win when you ARE thinking about it. Even while cleaning the vomit off your floor or running late to work for the second time this week, you can think about mindfulness and smile knowing that there is always something good to focus on!

“Another damn spot on my carpet! I do NOT have time for this! …Mindfulness….hey! I win! :-). You know? I sure do love my cat. His soft comforting fur alone is worth a little clean up now and then.”

“I’m late for work again! My boss is gonna think I’m such a loser!….Mindfulness…I win again!!! :-). Man the sky is gorgeous today!”

It may sound silly and way too simple but it works! Try it! You deserve to smile through your trials. Don’t you???  I think YOU DO!!! 🙂

That’s it for now!

Thank you for joining me today! Have a beautiful day and let me know how it goes for you in the comments below!

I love you guys and wish for you a joy filled life! Kisses!

 

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30 Days of Letting Go – Day 3

By November 7, 2016 Uncategorized

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It’s Day 3 of Letting Go! If you are still with me, give yourself a big pat on the back! This is no easy challenge. I’m excited to have you with me! This is a process so go easy on yourself. Just do your best to let go of negative beliefs so you’re not trapped away from the joy filled life we are all intended to live!

Here’s today’s challenge:

Today, we will practice letting go of worry. What one worry has been bothering you lately? Give yourself permission to let it go, at least for today! Worry is a form of fear. Fear clouds our thinking and keeps us ineffective in our lives.

Fear steals our happiness. Most negative or perhaps all negative emotions are born out of fear. We can abolish fear by reminding ourselves that what will be, will be. The only positive action we can take is acting with a clear mind, free from fear, knowing that what will be, will be better without cloudy, fearful thinking.

Easier said than done? It gets easier as we begin to live out this belief. In the beginning, use a mantra to repeat and then move on. If negative thoughts continue to hound you (and they will at first), use mindfulness to fend off the pesky thought garbage.

Mindfulness is simply being aware of your surroundings and how you interact with it. There are several ways to do this. Experiment to find the one that works best for you.

Do this:

Step 1. The next time worry or fear comes to mind decide first if you have time to think about it.
(If no, make a mental note to deal with it at a specific time and then move on to step 5)

Step 2. Look the fear in the eyes and decide what you can do about it. Ask, “How can I improve this situation?”

Step 3. Make a specific plan and put it into action ASAP.

Step 4. Make the decision to reject your fear because it’s not logical and it will only make things worse. Do this even if there is nothing you can do to make things better.

Step 5. Remind yourself that you have a plan in action EVERY TIME that pesky fear bothers you. Tell yourself you’ve already decided to let that fear go! A friend recently told me she mentally puts her negative thoughts on a bus and watches the bus drive away. Or she will envisions herself sitting by a lake and placing her worries or sadness on a lily pad and then watches the lily pad float away. I am going to use this imagery to help me today as I endeavor to send my worry away.

Step 6. THE MOST IMPORTANT PART OF THIS PROCESS is to put your mind on other things that in no way relate to said fear. This may not be 100% possible in times when the fear is staring you in the face. Don’t give up! Below is a list of possible things to put your mind on. If possible, do something you love:

Precursor – Whatever you choose to do, do it mindfully paying close attention to what your senses are telling you. What are you physically feeling, seeing, hearing, smelling, and, yes, even tasting? Think about each sense one at a time, being as specific as you can, with what you notice.

Sing
Dance
Paint
Do dishes
Light candles (scented are the best)

You get the idea.

If you’re driving or working or talking to someone you don’t want to talk to, focus on specifics you enjoy. For example, do you like the color red? Seek it out. Does the person you’re talking to smell nice, look nice, have beautiful eyes or any positive attribute at all? Be creative. If you want to find something good you will find it! And always ask yourself what you can do to make things better. Then do that.
P.S. Make it easy to be happy. Take care of you first so that you’re not too clouded by hunger, exhaustion, or stress to effectively put these exercises in motion.

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