Day 5 of Letting Go!
Letting Go of Disappointment
For today’s letting go challenge we are going to focus on letting go of disappointment. I have been dealing with this one for quite sometime. It seems I can let go much easier when there are circumstances I’m unhappy with. However, when people let me down, I find it very hard to let go of my hurt and confusion.
So, what’s a girl to do? Whenever I am upset with someone else’s actions, I remind myself that I do not walk in their shoes. I cannot know what their perspective is. It is useless to try and mind read to figure out why they did something. I, also, will do more harm than good, if I try and make them see the error of their ways. It can be frustrating to try and explain to someone how we see things when they see the same things from a completely different perspective.
The first thing to do when handling being disappointed in someone is to step back from emotion and allow your logical mind to do the work. Then, do your best to step into the shoes of your loved one and try to see things the way they do. Understand, though, that you can never truly see the world the way anyone else sees it but you can empathize with them by remembering how you felt in similar situations. If you have never experienced anything close to what they are going through, simply acknowledge that fact. Let them know you are doing your best to understand a situation you have no experience with. This will go a long way in helping the relationship to be strong.
With the proper perspective in place, list the facts of the situation. For instance, if the disagreement has to do with where they will stay when they come for a visit, list what needs exist for them and what needs exist for you. You may have a physical space for them to stay but if they are an introvert they may need a separate place to stay away from everyone. For the extrovert this concept can be hard to understand but introverts are not trying to hurt your feelings by needing to stay in a hotel rather than in your home. They simply need time alone to process their experiences.
Whatever the conflict, keep calm and be patient with each other. You cannot force someone to handle any situation your way. Instead, do your best to stay in your logical mind and then wait for the other person to come to a logical place, as well. Make peace with the idea that the other person may never be able to see things your way. Their journey is for them to figure out. It is not for you. You can only be responsible for your life. This is true whether the loved one is a friend, parent, sibling, lover, or even and especially if it is your child.
So, today, if you find yourself upset with a friend or even a stranger, try to let go of wishing they would act differently. Instead, acknowledge that their path is for them and your path is for you!
Thank you for reading! See you tomorrow with Day 6 of our letting go challenge!